If you've read my poem "Words" or one of my several posts on the subject, you know that I care a great deal about what words that people use and how those words are used. I really want to focus right now on how often we, as a culture, use words relating to females as put downs, particularly where men are concerned.
Think about it. How often have you heard one of these phrases: "sounds like a girl.", "screamed like a girl.", "ran like a girl.", "looks like a girl.", or something similar? I'm sure you hear them so often that they don't even really make an impact on you anymore. I was surprised the other day when I realized how often even I use phrases like these. While I am not trying to be insulting to women, I am. After all, each of these phrases indicates someone doing something in a way that is "unmanly" or wrong, therefore meaning that there is something about being a female that makes you worth less than a male.
The major problem is that our society is severely patriarchal and values things that men do over things that women do. Doubt me? Ask yourself why we, as a society, value people who work outside of the home in a "real job" more than we do stay-at-home parents. If a dad is a stay-at-home dad, people look at him as being weak or deficient somehow. Even the phrase, "Who wears the pants in the house?" assumes that the real power in a household is the person who wears the pants. Since pants are "men's" clothing, the implication is obvious. If you are a sensitive male, you will hear that you need to "toughen up", "stop being a wuss", or something similar to that. If there is a male singer who has a higher voice, they are put down because they "sound like a girl." If a male looks at all effeminate, they are the target of harassment because they "look like a girl." I could keep going in this vein, but I'll stop there.
You can look all around to find issues where we hold things that are "masculine" to be valued more highly than things that are "feminine". Whether it is someone's job, appearance, voice, or anything else, our society has chosen to place a higher premium on things that are related to men than things that are related to women. Unless, of course, you are talking about objectification in which case, the objectification of women is much more highly prized because that is what our heteronormative, patriarchal society wants.
What can you do? Well, first off, pay attention to what you say. If you catch yourself comparing someone to a particular group as a put down, stop yourself. The act of saying that denigrates a whole group of people and merely perpetuates a cycle where certain people are valued more highly than others. Second, if you catch someone else doing it; and it is safe to do so; gently ask them not to do it. If they make fun of you for standing up for other people, know that they are the lesser person because they need to put others down to build themselves up. The only way this will change is if we can demonstrate to people that what they are doing is truly hurtful and wrong. There will, of course, be resistance. After all, there are many people who do things because "everyone else does it", because "that's the way its always been done", or some equally asinine reason. Changing attitudes and ways of thinking requires a lot of effort and time. But ultimately, it will always be worth it.
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