Over the last few months, I have been having some very nice talks with a new friend and have been thinking a lot about social justice, intersectionality, and other issues. The other day, I had some thoughts that i needed to talk with them about and yesterday, we spent several hours talking about a whole host of things.
The reason I asked to talk with them (yes, that is their pronoun) is because I have been rethinking the label I give to my sexuality. For years, I have referred to myself as gay because I am into guys. But recently, I realized that I am more attracted to male biology (i.e. the penis) than guys in general. That means that I am into cis guys, trans guys, and even (potentially) trans women who have not had bottom surgery. The other issue I was thinking about is that since I am non-binary, it is weird to refer to myself as gay, which indicates a guy who is into other guys. When I was thinking about all of this, it occurred to me that I am closer to pansexual, but that is not quite right either because I am not into women. Hence, the need to talk with my friend. After our talk, I think that it is a better fit for me to describe myself as a queer, non-binary individual.
I am fairly sure that I've said this in the past, but to me, labels are of the utmost importance. I know there are people who see them as limiting, but I see them as me defining myself both to myself and for the world in general. Labels also allow people to know who you are. That is not to say that labels are all sunshine and kittens. After all, some people use labels to bully and harm others. Or they may use them to discriminate.
That being said, I do think the power of labels given to oneself outweighs any other issues. There are always going to be people who disrespect any group, and I know that type of disrespect can be incredibly harmful to people. But if you can find a community of like-minded/supportive people, it can make all the difference, even if there are people who are bullying you. I do get that there are people who do not like labels, and that is their prerogative, but I personally see that as throwing the baby out with the bathwater.
Just my thoughts. What do you think?
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