On Noah Galvin's Interview

I've read the interview that Noah Galvin (from The Real O'Neals) had with Vulture magazine and I have to say that while I think he made some good points, I have to take serious issue with his comments regarding Colton Haynes coming out.

As I've said in the past on this blog, coming out is a deeply, deeply personal process that needs to be done based on the person coming out, not on the way other people would do it.  There is no right or wrong way to do it.  Some people come out of the closet to the sounds of heavenly hosts and blasting trumpets, other people come out in a much more subtle manner, and others choose not to come out at all.  Every choice is correct and none should be denigrated as "fucking pussy bullshit", which is apparently a reference to the fact that Colton never used the words "I'm gay."  While I understand that Noah may have come out differently (I honestly don't know), Colton said that he has suffered from depression and other issues and that he needed the time to come out in his own way.

Based on the interview, Noah seems to think that there is only one "right" way to come out, which is the real "fucking pussy bullshit".  I will admit that I wish every LGBTQIA person would come out of the closet, if only for their own mental health, there are people who can't for whatever reason.  As Noah rightly notes (based on what I have read in various places), there is still a deep sense of homophobia in Hollywood when it comes to out actors/actresses being hired for non-out roles.  And there are a lot of straight/cisgender actors/actresses who are playing LGBTQIA roles.  Am I saying that every LGBTQIA role *MUST* go to a LGBTQIA person?  Not necessarily, but I do think it would be a good idea.

All that being said, I was very disappointed in the very, very judgmental way Noah looked at someone else's coming out.  While I understand that he has his own opinion (and is entitled to it), what he does not have the right to do is denigrate someone else's journey because it doesn't fit the idea that he seems to have for how the process works.  Shame on you Noah.  Now go grow up.

On dropping the "T" from "LGBT"

For the past several months, there have been people suggesting that the "T" be dropped from "LGBT" because people who are transgender do not have the same concerns as people who are lesbian, gay, or bisexual.  Today on The Federalist website, Walt Heyer, described as "an accomplished author and public speaker with a passion for mentoring individuals whose lives have been torn apart by unnecessary gender-change surgery" posted an article entitled "Drop the T from LGBT".  His basic argument is that people who are transgender are psychologically sick and that, for the good of the broader LGB movement, the concerns of "transgenders" (his word) need to be dropped.

A little background about Mr. Heyer.  At one point ( I can't find an exact date), he had sexual reassignment surgery and became a woman and then, almost 10 years later, had surgery to change back to a man.  From what I have been able to discover about him, he doesn't seem to have any special training and relies on his own experiences to claim that being transgender is a psychological disorder and that people who are transgender need therapy, not surgery.

I will also say that he is not the only person who is looking to "drop the T".  I have seen articles from people within the LGBTQIA community saying similar things.  As you may have guessed, I find this proposition to be a very disturbing one.  While it is true that transgender issues are not the exactly the same as issues faced by lesbian, gay, and bisexual people, the goal of the LGBTQIA community is not only to advocate for same-sex marriage, adoption, etc.  The goal is full equality for all people, regardless of sexual orientation, gender identification, race, skin color, etc.  As such, we need to embrace all people and welcome them to work with us as we work towards a more egalitarian society.

The more parochial and narrow minded view doesn't see this.  For people within the LGBTQIA community who want to "drop the T", they are merely out for their self-interest and not for the good of all people.  And anyone in the community who takes the thoughts of a transphobic person like Walt Heyer and makes them their own is delusional.  To think that he has the good of the LGBTQIA community in mind is mind blowingly stupid.  He is just trying to create divisions within the larger community to splinter us.  We need to stand together to help create a society where *EVERYONE* is treated equally and is equal.  Period.

On people coming out and our reactions

If you look on almost any entertainment site today, you will see a link about Charlie Carver (Teen Wolf and Desperate Housewives) coming out as gay (example).  As with any other celebrity coming out recently; whether it be gay, trans, lesbian, bi, or anything else; there are a few inevitable comments.  The two most prominent are "Of course we already knew this!" or "So what?"

The second one, I'll dealt with in the past (see here) but suffice to say that it is important for LGBTQIA individuals (children and teens in particular) to have role models who mirror them and their struggles.  Since suicide are prominent due to the rejection of LGBTQIA individuals by their families or churches, the more role models we have, the better.

The first one is the one that absolutely infuriates me.  First off, saying that minimizes the person and what they have accomplished by coming out.  Secondly, you *NEVER* know that someone is LGBTQIA until *they tell you themselves*.  You may suspect, but you do not know for sure.  To assume that a person is LGBTQIA because of the way they act, dress, or whatever is stereotyping an entire group and is extremely small minded.  When someone comes out, they deserve our support and should be applauded for what they have done.  Yes, society has made it easier for someone to come out of the closet, but there are still a lot of people out there who would willingly discriminate against people who are not heterosexual, cisgender, Caucasian individuals (men in particular).

Since coming out is a deeply personal process, we need to respect each and every individual whether or not they choose to come out.  I know that a lot of people recently have criticized Colton Haynes recently for his supposed coy "coming out" and said that he should just come out in order to be a role model. Assuming that he was in fact coming out (which I don't see from what he said), it is entirely his choice how or why to do so.  Whether it is because they just want to maintain a certain level of privacy, may not be ready to accept it yet, or whatever other reason, we should *NEVER, EVER* force anyone out of the closet regardless of the circumstances.  If we truly want to respect people's individuality, we must give them the space and time they need or want to deal with their own lives.

So when you see a story like this, rather than be like "Of course!", congratulate the person for their courage and support them.  To do less is a disservice to us all and a sign of a small mind.